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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

A lasting solution for world peace

I am reading "The age of Consent" by George Monbiot. Only twenty pages in, I had come up with a simple way of ensuring world peace. First of all, there are three times as many farm animals in the world as people. Second, the average American eats 88 times as many calories per day as the average Bangladeshi. Number C, 50 million people have died in war since 1945: compare with the mere 8 million who died in WW1. iv) There is a global surplus of food but lots of people can't afford it (one third of the world's people live on less than 1$ per day). Feeding all those farm animals keeps prices high. "So what?" I hear you cry. Well, it is all very simple. Wars aim to damage the powerful in other states by killing the poor. Generals like killing. The obvious solution is for warring countries to agree not to shoot people, but cows and sheep. There would be far more killing for armies to do. The losers would become poor and have to buy food from the winners. The poor in the losing country would have more fruit+veg to eat. And, to throw in a little bonus, global warming would be controlled, providing the gunpowder causes less trouble than the cow farts.

Simple! I don't know why this solution hasn't been reached before. Anyone got Koffi Anan's email?

In my fit of inspiration, I also realised what is wrong with British democracy. Failure is too lucrative (Major, Kinnock, Hague to name just a few). An important facet of Athenian democracy was that failed politicians were punished. The Athenians used to just kick them out. My solution is better: recycling. Any politician who is deemed by the electorate of his constituency at the end of his term not to have done what he was mandated to do should be stripped of all assets, and used as a dinner lady in a bog standard comprehensive. That'll teach 'em! The thought of Blair slopping out baked beans at Brixton High until his seventieth birthday fills me with zealous glee.

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