Friday, December 17, 2004


Charles Clarke? Charles Clarke? Never nas a man of such little intellect, common sense or courtesy risen so high. Charles Clarke? I mean, I didn't expect Ben "Pinky" Bradshaw or anything, but Charles Clarke? Jesus wept. Again.Charle1

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Chavs in Venice

Her: heels too high for successful perambulation.

Him: all those Burberry essentials.

Her to him (in Essex Street patois): 'I don't give a flyin' fuck about all the old crap, (building to crescendo) I jus' wanna go SHOP - ING!'

I leave the sociocultural analysis to the experts, merely noting a queasy unease that Sean Ryder is in some small way responsible.

Monday, December 13, 2004

No Way, Punk!

Dimebag%20Darrell%20playin%20Daryl%20Norton's%20guitar_jpgRIP Dimebag Darrell. The Pantera fretman was shot dead during a concert in Ohio. The curious or unconverted really need to get there hands on a copy of Grammy nominated "Far Beyond Driven" and find out what they have been missing out on.

What is an international court for? 96 countries have agreed to sign up to an agreement known as Article 98 to agree mutually with the US not to bring suit upon each othewrs citizens at the mInternational Criminal Court at the Hague. Countries who do not sign up will be subject to sanctions from the US. I do not currently know whether the UK intends to sign up, but if we do, it probably spells the end of any suit for unlawful imprisonment by the British held at Guantanamo Bay. Anybody captured by an army should be classified a POW until a competant tribuneral has met and reclassified them an enemy combatent. US flouting of the Geneva convention is dangerous, and pressure needs to be put on government of EU member states not to accept it.

Rumsfeld told frustrated US troops that you go to war with the army you have, not the one you might want to have. Will they go and protect Taiwan from the Chinese invasion promised by Beijing, should the government push seperatist policy too far? No way, but if they did the Chinese might quicken steps to swap dollars for Euros in their central reserve. Perhaps the French have the right idea after all.

If the Conservatives do not push the issue of Blair lying over the legal justification for the Iraq war in the runup to the 5th May General Election, they deserve to be burnt at the stake. The time will have come to for a popular alternative. Ashley Vickers at 32 may be a bit old to be England captain by the next world cup. Vickers for PM? Come on Ashley, by the time we elect you, George Weah will be President of Liberia. And they say footballers are getting too powerful...

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Hand luggage only for the journey home...

...for fear of a rogue gendarme stuffing my bag with explosives, to be detected by a pup with sinus problems. In the wonderfully deadpan account of the New York Times' Matthew Saltmarsh:

"According to accounts by the police, the suitcase was chosen at random after its owner checked it in, and the explosives were inserted by bomb squad gendarmes. A sniffer dog successfully identified the bag,a dark blue suitcase, but a second dog failed to do so, and before anyone noticed the bag had disappeared down a conveyer belt...At a time when the threat of terrorism is very much on the minds of the police in Europe, the incident was a blow for the French."

And those cheese eating surrender monkeys have already let Richard Reid slip through the net.


Anyways, with a mere fortnight before our return to the motherland, I started wondering what I miss about il Regno Unito.

1) Grass. Yes I know it is always greener on the other side, but in Venice there is none. Not even a derisory, turd infested attempt at a verge.

2) Mexican food.

3) The daily deluge of junk mail from Alveston Place, Leamington Spa.

4) Fuller's Jack Frost, especially by the fire in the Garibaldi.

5) Full access to football results. The Sunday Times even publishes the Northeastern Christian Fellowship Division Two results, which are difficult to find even on the internet. As for trying to get league tables for the conference feeder leagues...

6) Radio. Here the only English language stations are a thing where you phone into a monk for scriptural advice, and the US armed forces radio. Makes me long for Wogan, never mind Wossey.

7) Tomato ketchup.

For the sake of balance, there are some things I do not miss:

1) David Blunkett

2) Anybody who has, or may have, or may have even considered, sleeping with David Blunkett.

3) Chris Kamara yelling his match report. Every bloody week.

4) An uncritical respect for English clubs in Europe. We can't live on former Manker glories forever.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

I'm not dead

Which is nice. The tremors centred upon Verona were not followed up by a larger catastrophe, and, partly in consequence, I am not dead. unlike Swedish wrestling supremo Mikael Ljungberg. Look at this for an obituary:

Mikael Ljungberg (June 13, 1970 - November 17, 2004) was a Swedish wrestler from Gothenburg. He competed for Örgryte IS.

Ljungberg was one of the most successful Swedish wrestlers ever. He won World Championship gold medals in 1993 and 1995, European Championship gold medals in 1995 and 1999, and an Olympic gold medal in 2000.

On November 17, 2004, while receiving care at the psychiatric ward of the Mölndal hospital outside Gothenburg, he committed suicide.